escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
