i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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