i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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