I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Blood and glitter go together right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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