Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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