K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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