Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
