im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
