your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
