I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
