I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
