fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
