Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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