I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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