Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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