weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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