I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
