Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
