Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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