So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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