i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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