"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
