I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
