Yo dont text me then not text me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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