is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
