Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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