from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
