i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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