I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
