No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
