Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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