What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
