I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
