bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
