mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
