well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
