I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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