i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
