I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
