If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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