so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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