once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
