But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
