Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
