How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
