Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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