Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
