they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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