i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
