If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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