and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize