super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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