Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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