maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
